So yeah... can't write much because I can't say much.
This week has been a total write off. Monday I did my personal best on the elliptical for 570 calories.
But then the pain started.
My knees are totally buggered.
Monday night the pain started in my knee. I figured no big deal, this happens all the time, by morning I'll be alright.
Morning came and the pain was worse and shooting from my knee down to my toes and back to my hip.
So I went to work with a cane and hobbled along. I figured it would probably calm down that night and I'd be alright.
Nope.
It swelled up to the size of, gosh, I don't know... something between a grapefruit and a watermelon. Dang this is huge.
So off to work I went on Wednesday but I figured I would just limp my way through the day. BAD idea. Stupid stupid stupid! That just made it hurt more. So after work on Wednesday I went to the medical supply store and finally bought those crutches I was talking about back in January or February the last time this acted up.
Went to work on Thursday with the crutches. Sore, hard to get around, but definitely easier to get around than the previous days.
Saw the doctor on Thursday. He says that it's most likely NOT the patella-femoral that's causing it, he figures it's something worse. He touched my kneecap and it just grinded. It was so gross, it didn't matter where around my knee he touched it made this grinding feeling and sound. So he told me he's sending me for an MRI which of course will probably take 6 months to get... in the meantime I get to keep using the crutches, take some anti inflammatories and some pain pills and hope it starts feeling better on it's own.
I'm SO frustrated. So incredibly frustrated. Normally when it acts up it stops within 24 hours. This is now day 4 of incredible pain and swelling and there's no real sign of it stopping. And of course this happens right while I'm doing well with the weight loss and starting to feel a bit better about myself. Now the working out has basically come to a stop. After working all morning (I only work half time) I'm exhausted from the pain and the crutches. Plus, I mean obviously I can't get on the elliptical right now. I could do some upper body work but to be honest all I want to do it MOVE.
So I'm still going to watch what I eat (although I have to admit the past few days the chocoholic in me has come out and won) and try to lose weight by just eating better.. it'll go a LOT slower but.. I hope I can still do it.
I hope, I pray, I wish... my knee could feel better right now. I have so much to do that's been put on the back burner because of this. I can't work out because of this.. I can't play with my Bailey pup as much as she wants..
I'm petrified that the people I see in person, like at work and such, think that I'm faking this. I've always been like that, worried that people don't believe me when I'm sick or in pain. But to anybody who thinks I'm faking or playing it up... come see my knee. Come see the swelling and that should prove that something is wrong.
Just when things start to look up.. you get knocked right back down.
*sigh*
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My hopefully productive journey through the valley of weight loss.
About Me
- Kat
- Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
- A 26 year old who's got a lot to lose and nothing allowed to gain! Tired of being the fat girl.
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2 comments:
Kat, nobody is going to think you're faking it...that's just ridiculous! It's taken me a long time to not give a sh*t about what other people think, but when I did, it was very liberating. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks except you!
The knee is just a slowdown to what you want to achieve...it's not going to stop you. You keep on doing what you're doing and you WILL see the benefits from it! I KNOW you can and will do it!
I second Dano's statements.
I work with someone who periodically has knee issues. On the days her knee isn't bothering her, you wouldn't believe that she has problems. On the days her knee IS bothering her? I just want to piggy-back her around just so I don't have to watch her limp.
It's very difficult to fake an injury for an extended amount of time. Basically, you can tell if someone's faking it within an hour (unless they're really, really, Kevin Spacey quality acting, good at faking an injury), so don't worry about whether the people you work with or whatever believe you. Because if they watch you walk, they'll believe you.
Also, having to stop your exercise (or at least change the nature of it) isn't a failure if it's done for a medical reason. You shouldn't think of this as a failure, anymore than you'd consider it a failure if you got hit by a car. The break in the exercise isn't there because of laziness, it's there because of medical issues. Don't beat yourself up so much over this. Just keep your goal in mind and find another way to work towards it.
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