Numbers, Calculators, Sweat and More...

Well I've done it, I lasted a whole week. 

I've been counting my calories like MAD and exercising an hour each day and I'm pretty sure that old nemesis of mine, the scale, said I lost 3 pounds. Woohoo, 3 down and at least 72 to go.

I'm trying to keep my caloric intake to around 1200-1250 a day. I'm using a website called Http://www.calorie-count.com to track my calories throughout the day. The really nice thing is that because it's web based, I can access it where ever I am (as long as there's a computer near by!) and update it. 

I was really good about food this week. I counted, made really good choices, and measured my food to be sure I wasn't over indulging. I bought a digital kitchen scale from Wal-Mart about a month ago and with counting everything that goes in my mouth it's really been a life saver. Also, trying to have a good attitude is helping too. I looked at the package of Lipton Sidekick's noodles we were going to have with dinner one night and saw that for a 1/2 cup they were about 180 calories. I nearly died! I couldn't believe that with what I figured a normal portion of the noodles was for me, pre-counting, I was probably intaking nearly 800 calories just in noodles! Imagine my surprise when I actually used a measuring cup to portion the noodles out and found I normally ate around a cup of noodles, which was more than enough! I guess I didn't eat as badly before as I thought I did. 

I was really good at work too! How I can work with such skinny women when there's always so much food in the staff room, I'll never know! This week there was a MASSIVE cheesecake and a chocolate cake. Also home made cinnamon buns and potato chips. I didn't have a thing. None of the junk. Although, one day there was a veggie plate so I had a few mini carrots and pieces of broccoli. I'm seriously amazed at my will power at work.

I've become super anal about what I eat now. I went grocery shopping on Friday and nearly left the store in tears because a lot of things I looked at, that I figured would be ok to eat, really weren't. I was really upset. Now I know you're allowed to treat yourself now and then but I know with me, if I have bad foods in the house I'm going to gravitate towards them. But, I was thrilled to find that the Thinsations brand has mini oreo cakesters, for 100 calories a pack! THANK GOD! I love those things, they're bloody addictive though! So to have them in little guilt free 100 calorie packs was a godsend. 

Even things like a simple sandwich have become worrysome. When you figure each slice of bread is around 110-150 calories a piece, you've got 220-300 calories just in the bread. Then add the margarine/butter, the meat or cheese or whatever topping... and that sandwich is easily 500-800 calories! Yikes! I did find Weight Watcher's bread though. 110 calories for TWO slices! The slices are super small but I never really ate bread before I did this so super small works great for me. I can actually have toast in the morning now instead of the oatmeal. Sweet! 

Food though has become a bit of an obsession that I really need to back off of. I did allow myself a cheat day yesterday though. I felt I can't suck the life out of food and I've got to allow myself some things that I've been craving. So I had toast with jam in the morning. Who knew Cheez Whiz has less calories than jam? I then had 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, on regular bread, not my weight watchers. And then a small pizza for dinner. I made sure it was a small so there was no left overs for me to have around the house tempting me. My snack while watching a movie was some of those crispy mini rice cakes in bbq flavour. I love those things.. So it was a bad day for calories. What I found odd though is I got full so fast and I guess my stomach isn't used to having so much grease because I bloated up like mad. That'll teach me lol.

I stuck with the elliptical too. I've been doing an hour every day (other than Saturday, I took it as a rest day). I've been doing it every day at the same time to keep a routine going. I'm really impressed with it. I'm getting stronger and stronger and better at it. When I first started using it again I was doing about 108 strides a minute and burning around 450-470 calories in an hour. Now, I'm doing about 130 strides a minute and burning 550 calories an hour. Today I hit my record which was the 130 and 550 calories. I tried to slow down, thinking I was going to burn myself out but my body just wouldn't slow down, it kept pushing. I love it! I haven't really noticed any effects to my body with it, like lower measurements or such but it feels good to do it. And really, for all these years (except last year, I really didn't have the time.) I've said I haven't had an hour to spare to do any exercising... I realize what crap that was. An hour really isn't long and it goes by quickly if you watch tv. I watch more tv in a week now that I exercise than I did before! 

The only thing I worry about is that I may be inadvertently starving myself. I'm trying to reach 1200-1250 calories a day, but really hitting more like 1000-1100. With a BMR that says with just basic daily living I burn approx 2100 calories a day, and then add on the elliptical for 550, I'm burning approx. 2600-2700 calories a day. With an intake of 1000-1100 it means I have a caloric deficit of usually around 1300-1500 a day. I know having a deficit of 500 means you should lose a pound a week and 1000 means 2 pounds a week. I'm hoping by going over that I'm not hurting myself. I'm not hungry all the time and the foods I pick to eat satiate me really easily so I'm really hoping I'm not going into that starvation mode.

I've been thinking about this blog lately and came to a conclusion about it. I don't give a rat's patoot if anybody reads it. This is just really great for me to keep up with my progress. It's good for me to see what motivates me and what gets me down. 

I feel my confidence is growing. I feel more like the old me. I feel like actually going out and being social and having fun now, instead of hiding at home every night because I feel I'm too fat or not good enough to go out. Wish I'd never retreated within myself like I did, if I hadn't, perhaps I'd still have some of the friendships I've lost over the years that I miss so much. Perhaps I wouldn't be so lonely. I'm at the age where as a single woman with no kids (almost seems rare to be a non kidlet female these days!) that I should be out having fun, enjoying life, instead of sitting at home playing on Facebook and Pogo all dang day.

I know I'm being optimistic here and putting far too much emphasis on the impact my weight has had on my life, but I'm hoping that if I do indeed actually get thin.. things will finally work out for me. I'll get the job I deserve, that I've worked so hard for. I'll move out, and not be the pathetic 26 year old living at home with dad. And maybe, just maybe, I'll hear those 3 little words that I've missed so much.. "I love you" coming out of a man who truly means them. Until then, I will work my butt off to achieve my goals.

Back in the Saddle Again

Well I haven't posted anything in ages because there's been nothing to post.

Until now I guess.

I had basically quit working out. with the exception of Sundays which I always did.. for about 3 weeks. I started a new job that I found tiring and just couldn't seem to find the time to work out at all. I also went on a huge eating binge.

Not helping the situation was a diagnosis of laryngitis by my doctor. I had had a cold around the beginning of February that caused me to lose my voice for a few days. I didn't think much about it because I seem to get laryngitis every year. Finally, near the end of February I went and saw my doctor for a refill on the plethora of prescriptions I have to take daily and just mentioned that I was still getting hoarse at times. He told me that I did have laryngitis and that if I didn't shut up I was likely to develop nodules on my vocal chords which would then require either surgery or voice therapy. He told me to talk as little as possible for a week, and if I was still having problems to see him again and he'd take me off work for a week. Needless to say, as someone who works in a school, with kids, and uses their voice constantly.. I was not impressed. But like a good girl I walked around home and work with a mini whiteboard for a week and didn't talk. I still get hoarse from time to time but it's not bad enough that I'm going to see my doctor. To heck with taking a week off work! I need the money! 

Unfortunately, I found out that having to write everything you want to say down is extremely frustrating and exhausting. I'd come home from work every day and just pass out. There was no exercising done.

I've started to get back into it and back into it quite seriously though. I'm now doing an hour a day on the elliptical and burning 500 calories a day with that. I tried getting up at 5am and doing one workout then and one at 4pm but it's proven to be too much for my legs. But I'm enjoying it. I just work out on the elliptical from 4pm-5pm while I watch Golden Girls and the time just flies by. It's also nice to have a set time to do it because I'm an extremely routine based person. I'm like an old fuddy duddy, if my routines get messed up I get MAD.

I've also started to very strictly watch what I'm eating. There's no more inbetween meal snacks of chips or crackers. I've avoided eating anything in the staff room at work. Our staff room is always PILED with food. Cakes, cookies, doughnuts, veggies, fruit, crackers.. you name it! But, I've been really good and avoiding eating any of it. If I get hungry, I'm reaching for a banana. If I really want a snack like popcorn then I have to decide if it's really worth getting back on the elliptical for. Usually I'm smart enough to go "Hell no! Had enough of that for the day!" and not eat it. So, so far it's been working well and I'm not finding it that incredibly difficult to be disciplined. I love fruit and veggies so I'm making them the main portion of my meals and avoiding eating a lot of processed foods and pasta. 

I haven't noticed any weight loss and I just did some measurements for shits and giggles and they haven't changed. Not surprised considering this new way of life is only a few days old. 

I have however been getting a lot of compliments on my weight lately. I've had 4 people this week ask me if I've lost weight as they think my waist is getting smaller. I wish! 

What it really is is that I finally went out and bought some new clothes this month. I decided that screw it, I'm working and I never buy myself new clothes so I went a little wild. I attacked Ricki's like a starving naked child and bought almost one of everything they had! I was just there on Wednesday and bought 12 shirts and 3 necklaces for $212! What a steal! I only paid full price for 3 things, the rest were on clearance. I got this gorgeous sweater which was regular $70 for $5! They'd marked it down a few times and then put it on the clearance rack for $9.99. Ricki's then always takes 50% off their last marked price so I got it for $5. I LOVE IT!

I think that's a huge portion of why people have been asking if I've lost weight. I haven't lost weight but I've gained some confidence again. I've got a really nice new haircut which I love, and beautiful new clothes that I love. I'm feeling sexy and more like myself than I have in years. I'm starting to feel like I'm a human being again and that I belong in this world and should be out having some fun! The past couple of years have been very tough and socially, I don't go out more than about 3 times a year. I just don't really have many friends. It really got me down and I think my whole aura showed that. Now, with new clothes, new hair and a whole new attitude, I think people can see it and I'm coming across a lot better.

I feel amazing! I feel like for the first time in probably 5-7 years, I can walk with my head held high. I may not be the most attractive person out there but dangit I feel amazing and cute! And once I lose a good 80 pounds I'll be even cuter lol. Maybe I'll even find me a man. This being single for 6 years stuff sucks. I haven't even had anybody interested in dating me for 6 years. Ugh. But, hopefully with some new confidence and weight loss that will change!

I feel like the old Kat is back and it feels amazing :)