Torture and Pain

Well the next few days of the exercise routine weren't as productive as I'd hoped they'd be..

I worked on Monday the 18th and by the time I came home my knee was just screaming at me. I hardly sat all day and then the teacher's bookshelf just like collapsed a bit so I had to get on the floor on my hands and knees to try to fix it. Not good for the knees. So I had to skip my workout. I knew there was no way that I could do the kettlenetics with a knee that was just screaming at me that I was an idiot.

So I worked out on Tuesday. I did my time on the EA Sports Active but it was a short one again today. Only 18 minutes and 133 calories burnt. What a waste. I mean really for the amount of time I was doing it the calories are alright but the pain my knees and legs are in from JUMPING SQUATS... oh my lord.

One of the many things my physiotherapist told me after my last knee surgery was I was "not allowed to run, walk long distances, stand for a long time, hop, jump, do a lot of stairs, crouch or squat". and here this stupid EA thing wants me to be in a squat position and then jump in the air and land in another squat? Can we say brutal on the knees? I kinda did them, I more did what the kids at the schools call "burpees" more than jumping squats. Not as much extension on them.

I was feeling the burn but thought only 18 minutes definitely wasn't enough for the day. So I popped in the Kettlenetics dvd.

Holy HELL. I'm now crossing that off my list of things I'm going to be doing for exercise for at least 6 months! I'm definitely not in any sort of shape to do this! Basically it's dance aerobics with a 4 pound weight that you swing around with you when you do it. It looked fun on the infomercial and looked like something I could do. I've always enjoyed aerobics. Yeah. Except I can't do this. It's far too intense a workout and far too hard on my knees at the moment. After about 10 minutes I was dripping with sweat and swearing just as profusely at the tv. There's the instructor, lil Ms. Perfect with her 8 pack abs saying "You can do it! Swing a bit farther! Extend that squat!" and here I am the blob that I am, trying desperately to keep up while my body says "you moron, you're too fat and blubbery for this stuff!" Cripes I couldn't even keep up with the girl who was doing the 'modified' version of it. Oy. I enjoyed the moves and can see how it would work but I definitely think I'm not up to it.

So I figure now that I'm scratching Kettlenetics off my list of exercises, I'm going to do 30 minutes on the elliptical on my days off from the Wii. I HATE the elliptical but 30 minutes on it usually means about 300 calories or so and it is a good lower body and cardio work out. Last time I worked out I lost 15 pounds doing just the elliptical 30 minutes a day and watching what I ate. Granted it all came back when I stopped but dangit that aint happening again.

Wednesday was another write off. I don't know what happened but my knees gave me hell again. I could barely walk, couldn't find any position that was comfortable and didn't cause large amounts of pain and I was swollen like a balloon. I ended up having to borrow Dad's cane to walk around the house (reminder to self, buy a set of crutches). I was even seriously thinking about going to the hospital the pain was that bad. But I knew if I went I'd be waiting 8 hours to see some doctor who would just poke my knee and write me a prescription for Tylenol 3; which have no effect on me what so ever. So I suffered through. I didn't sleep well last night at all, again, issues with comfort. This morning (Thursday) I'm still fairly sore but I can at least maneuver around the house under my own power. So there will be no exercising today either. Dang. This has not been a good start to this experiment. I feel like I'm failing miserably this week.

The thing I find most amazing is I'm actually enjoying this. I've always hated exercise. Gym class was torture for me growing up. I was always the fat kid with bad asthma. I was never good at any sports and always the last picked. Heck when I was in elementary school I had to take remedial gym because I apparently had no sense of balance! My elementary school gym teacher was a wonderful Scottish man. I adored him so much. He knew I was trying all the time and knew my limitations. I had hoped that would continue in junior high but nope. I got the gym teacher from hell. The gym teacher who wouldn't let me go home to get my inhaler because I forgot it and was in the middle of a moderate attack (I lived about 3 minutes away). The gym teacher who tried to fail me because she felt I wasn't trying, especially when it came to the like 5km run we had to do 3 times a year. I'm sorry, you want a fat girl with bad asthma to RUN (we weren't allowed to walk) 5km in 15 minutes? Oh hell no.

So thus began the hatred with exercise. Not to mention I hate getting dirty and sweaty and have a paranoia of having body odor.

Which is why I'm finding it so amazing that I'm enjoying the workouts now. Perhaps it's because I feel I can do them, that nobody's judging me, and the wii does it at MY pace. Yes, now and then it yells at me to pick up the pace when I run, but for the most part it does it at my pace. I also don't have a lil Ms. Perfect with 8 pack abs showing me what to do. As the wii thingy screams at me several times a workout, "You OWN this exercise!". I feel like I do. I own it, I can do it, and I'm going to be able to keep up with it. Heck, today I was thinking how hopefully soon I'll get my stamina and strength up enough to do the 30 minute workout on the EA. I tried it once and nearly died. But I think as I progress and get stronger and fitter I'll be able to handle it. I just keep trying to tell myself that I have to take baby steps. That this isn't a race.

I know I have to eat better too. I'm working on that as well. I also know that doing just a 180 calorie burning exercise isn't enough, which is why I'm incorporating other exercises. As well I also run around after Bailey a lot during the day playing with her.  I know I have a long way to go and a lot to do to get there but I am determined.